15 October 2011
The 'Theatre of Dreams'. despite all the history attached to it, had never seen an occasion quite like this. Packed to the rafters with an 80,000 crowd, the two teams emerged from the tunnel to be met by an ear-splitting barrage of sound. TV cameras were transmitting live pictures across the globe and the world's sporting press were there to record the event. For the first time ever a team from the United Counties League had reached the sixth round of the FA Cup where the draw had landed them an away tie with none other than Manchester United. On the way this heroic team had knocked out Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool. No wonder the world held it's breath. Could another upset be on the cards!
Sir Alex led his team of international superstars out onto the pitch flanked by his opposite number, a swarthy, eastern looking gentleman whose expression remained passive and calm. Behind him followed his team clad in their claret and blue shirts, each player smiling and waving to the crowd. But in amongst the visiting team was a 'man of mystery' who kept his identity secret by the wearing of a mask. Everyone turned to their match day programmes and scanned the list of the visitors names, but because the 'man of mystery' did not have a number on the back of his shirt it was impossible to say who it was.
In the event, it transpired that the masked one was to sit on the subs bench as a kind of secret weapon. Someone to call on if things became desperate for the non-leaguers. Within minutes of the game starting Wayne Rooney gave United the lead and it looked as if the dream was over. The claret and blue huffed and puffed, but as half time approached they could find no way through the reds defence.
The second half brought more of the same. Time and time again, the gallant visitors were denied. Then, turning to his 'international man of mystery' the swarthy, eastern looking manager of the claret and blues , said," right champ, you're on."
The masked one stood like some Roman gladiator ready to take on the world. The crowd,silenced by the on-coming substitution, leaned forward in their seats to see just who it was hidden behind the mask. At last the player whipped it off to reveal......Carlos Tevez!!!!!!! But more extraordinary stuff was to follow when the little Argi' turned to his boss and said, "No way Jose. I refuse to play. The reds, they will hurl ze abuse at me. I will naff off!"
"Okay, buster,",retorted the swarthy and eastern looking manager, who had recently become a fan of TV's "Apprentice". Pointing at Tevez, he said with some venom, "You're fired!!"
The crowd erupted at this, but they roared their approval when they saw that the real substitution was going to be none other than 'Big Bird', the hattrick hero against both Arsenal and Liverpool. To a hero's welcome ,he ran onto the pitch and into the history books by scoring two goals in the last minute to send the claret and blues into the semi-finals.
And then I woke up!!!! Tevez was staring at me from the computer screen with a Holbeach United shirt super-imposed over him. And we had got beaten by Leek Town at the second qualifying round stage of the FA Cup. And, you know, we gave them a real good game. And I shall always remember what our swarthy, eastern looking manager said when we began the run with the home tie against Spalding.
"We know we cannot win the FA Cup, but it will be great to stay in the competition for as long as possible and have some fun." And we certainly had fun. I shall never forget the looks on the lads faces after beating 'The Toolips', Belper and New Mills. It really was good to have a run in the cup, but now, look out the rest of the UCL, here we come!
COME ON YOU RANGERS!!!!!