15 September 2011
Talk about football in the fast lane! Me and the good lady went to the greyhounds at Peterborough the other week, but I swear our boys came out of the traps faster than those leggy pooches, when AFC Kempston came visiting Deeping Towers! I hadn't even bitten into my sausage roll before Joshy had lashed us in front. And then, damn me, I almost choked on the crumbs as Marky-boy's screamer billowed the onion bag. At this point I checked my chronometer to discover that only a mere six minutes had elapsed! I looked at the boy, and the boy looked at me. We checked our surroundings, and yes we really were at the 'Towers'. 2-0 and our boys were on cruise control!!
But then, totally due to a linesman in desperate need of an optometrist, Kempston scored with their man at least half a mile offside! When I questioned the aformentioned fellow's decision he merely gave me a wry grin! Cheeky blighter!! However, this incident was soon replaced with more joy as Josh "Bend it like Beckham" Moreman swept a free kick, from some distance, into the net for 3-1. This on just thirteen minutes! You will have to get used to the exclamation marks, dear reader. There will be a few more yet in this epistle!!!!!
James "The Cat" Doughty - or "Puss in studs", as he is sometimes known - then came to our rescue with a save of epic proportions, diving full length to his right to palm away an almost certain second goal for Kempston.
Then two more goals for the Rangers! On twenty five minutes, Joshy completed his hatrick for 4-1, (POW!!), and then on thirty five minutes, Mark "Don't panic" Jonesy scored the fifth (THUMP!!!) to complete the first half destruction of a Kempston side, who, to be fair, had looked pretty decent at times.
Unfortunately a mighty rushing wind of almost biblical proportions came to spoil the second half. The weather became quite rough as well! At one point "The Cat" made a clearance which almost looped back over his head and into the goal! The whole game became a farce, with passes being overhit and long balls ending up in the adjacent fields. But still, we were not to be denied a sixth as Coxy took advantage of some space, late on, to slot the ball home!! And you know, we could really have had seven, but "Don't panic" Jonesy had a penalty saved. Shame this, as we would have ended up with two hatricksters!
Not to worry, 6-1 is a great result, and sets us up nicely for the FA Cup match next week against New Mills. Things just get better and better here at 'The Towers'!
C'MON YOU RANGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!